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Should I Break Up With My Boyfriend? - What You Need To Know

How To Get Over Someone | By: Katie Lister

May 16, 2024

When should I break up with my boyfriend? What are the signs that I need to end the relationship? Should I try to work things out with my boyfriend? You are in the right place if you have these and other questions.

Hi, my name is Katie Lister. I am a practicing Registered Nurse and the founder of Growth Gals. I lead personal development groups and coach women to live their best lives authentically. Growth Gals is more than just a platform; it’s a supportive community where women can connect with like-minded individuals and learn and support one another.

It’s crucial that women have safe spaces to discuss various topics related to everyday issues that affect their lives, such as mental health challenges, navigating relationships, and self-improvement. This is what GG is all about. If you wonder whether you should break up with your boyfriend, this article will tell you everything you need to know.

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Katie Lister

Katie Lister

Written by Katie Lister, RN, BScN. An experienced Registered Nurse, Group Facilitator, Life Coach, and Community Leader. Read Katie's Full Author Bio

Signs You Should Break Up With Your Boyfriend

Should I break up with my boyfriend? Ending a relationship is hard, whether it is a new one or a long-term one, even when you both mutually agree to end things. Starting over can be scary when you have built a life with someone over time and developed a comfortable routine.

All relationships have ups and downs, and going through a rough patch is normal. Breaking up is a tough decision, but sometimes you need to make the right decision for yourself and your mental well-being. How do you know if you should break up with your boyfriend? Here are some of the red flags:

You have lost the emotional connection

When the spark is gone, it becomes difficult to save a relationship. One sign of a dying relationship is when you stop feeling at home or vulnerable with your partner.  Openly sharing thoughts and feelings is the core foundation of a healthy relationship. If you find yourself hiding your true feelings or struggling to have engaging conversations, you need to reevaluate the relationship.

You are constantly fighting

Fights in a relationship are normal, but constant arguments can damage the strongest relationship. Unresolved fights are unproductive, and constant arguments may be a sign to consider ending the relationship.

Physical intimacy does not excite you anymore

It’s normal for sexual desire to fluctuate in a relationship. If your sex life is in a rut, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship is doomed. Does the memory of the first time you were intimate still excite you? If not, you may have lost interest completely, which is a red flag. A breakup is imminent if the thought of being intimate with your partner is no longer appealing to you.

You have different goals

It’s tough when two people in an intimate relationship have different core values. Common issues include having children, career goals, or where to live. Incompatibility is one of the top reasons relationships end, and seeking counseling to improve communication might help if you’re still in love and want your relationship to last.

Can you ever stop loving someone? Find out in this article. 

He doesn’t prioritize you

You feel ignored, unimportant, or unappreciated in your relationship. A relationship expert will advise you that if your partner constantly ignores your needs despite your efforts to communicate, they don’t value you in the first place or the relationship. Walk away from the bad relationship and look for someone who values you and boosts your self-esteem.

There is zero trust

If your partner never keeps his promises or has an affair, trust becomes almost impossible to rebuild. Trust is the cornerstone of any intimate relationship. If you cannot trust your significant other, you may experience issues sustaining the relationship.

You are going through abuse

If the relationship is physically abusive, you should consider ending things immediately. If you notice signs of physical, financial, and emotional abuse, no matter how subtle, the best thing you can do for yourself is to exit the situation.

You can get your family or the police involved if you need to, and consider talking to a professional therapist to help you cope and formulate an exit plan.

How to Accept the End of a Relationship

Should I break up with my boyfriend? It might take time to accept the new normal when a relationship breaks down. How do you accept and cope with the end of a relationship?

Journaling

Journaling can help you understand your feelings before a breakup. By writing down your thoughts and asking yourself tough questions, you can prepare for the inevitable breakup conversation. This journal helps you verbalize your most private thoughts, so write what you don’t like about your partner and the relationship. This helps prevent you from idealizing him after the breakup and allows you to accept that he may not be the right person for you.

Talk to someone you trust

Talk to a loved one, such as a family member or a trusted friend, about how you feel. You need to ensure the people you talk to will keep the situation private. Hearing about the imminent breakup from other people would hurt your partner. Talking to strangers on social media groups for relationship advice also helps to get unbiased opinions.

Invest in self-care

The end of a relationship can leave you feeling hollow. Love life and prioritize your physical and mental wellness. Breakups are draining, and the thought of losing a relationship and facing life alone may seem daunting. Most people stay in unhappy relationships because they are afraid of being alone.

Develop a new routine of eating healthy and working out. Yoga, meditation, and other mindful exercises are excellent self-care techniques to keep you mentally strong and cushion you from having a hard time after the breakup.

Prepare for life post-breakup

In an intimate relationship, you settle into shared routines like texting throughout the day or going to the gym together. After the breakup, not engaging in these routines will make you feel lost. Prepare for life without these routines and start new routines with a friend, making the adjustment more accessible and making you feel more grounded.

Have the breakup conversation

When you are sure the relationship is over, the best way to start the healing journey is to initiate the breakup conversation. Prolonging the inevitable makes it harder to end it. Don’t let yourself get carried away thinking it might work. If you are worried about the conversation turning ugly, break up in public.

Learn how to deal with a breakup when you still love them here. 

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When to Stay and Salvage the Relationship

Numerous reasons can make you want to break up with him. However, sometimes, what seems like the end may actually not be the end. What are the signs that you can save the relationship?

Both of you are willing to try and make it work

If both of you are willing to work on the relationship, you can stay and make up. Change takes time, but if you are both prepared, all is not lost. However, you have to see the change in your partner. Words mean nothing without action. It’s a plus if he goes to therapy, aside from the couple’s therapy, and decides to read books on self-growth to try and better himself.

The change you expect is situational

While your partner may promise to change, one cannot change some things. One cannot change one’s personality. Some changes are situational or temporary, and you can only stay if you believe he can realistically make the change.

For instance, if he is ambitious and hardworking, waiting for him to meet future goals like starting a family is worth waiting for. Some behaviors are learned, and if he was a certain way when you met him and then changed along the way, it’s possible that he can go back to doing the positive things he used to do.

You haven’t talked to him

If you want to end a relationship based on your perception, communicate with your boyfriend first. Tell him how you feel, as he might be unaware. Let him know you struggle to speak openly and be vulnerable with him. See where this conversation leads, and if they are remorseful and willing to meet your needs, you can give it a shot.

How Growth Gals Can Help You Cope After a Breakup

Our aim at Growth Gals is to inspire women to reach their full potential. We also strive to create positive change by giving women the resources to discover their true selves and expand their knowledge base on various issues, such as emotional intelligence and mental health.

Growth Gals helps women overcome obstacles and make informed decisions. We also help them connect with others with similar values and experiences. Subscribe to the Growth Gals newsletter to access helpful guides and resources for women. Learn more about how we can support you and help you learn more about whether you should break up with your boyfriend by signing up below or contacting us directly

Should I Break Up With My Boyfriend? Conclusion

Breakups are never easy. Some signs manifest before the breakup of any relationship, such as loss of emotional connection, lack of physical intimacy, you are not his priority, or he is abusing you. Before you end things, talk to him and see if you can salvage the relationship. Be realistic, and don’t idealize him or your relationship.

Taking some measures before ending the relationship is essential to ensure you maintain your physical and mental health post-breakup. This can include seeking support from family, friends, or a therapist. Letting go is often the right decision to make when things completely stop working in your relationship. Once you make the bold decision to end things, you can start healing from the heartbreak.

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