How to Break Up with Him Once and for All
How To Get Over Someone | By: Katie Lister
April 15, 2024
How do I break up with him? How should one end a relationship without hurting the other person’s feelings? What are the signs that it’s time to break up with him? This article is for you if you are looking for answers to these and related questions.
Hi, my name is Katie Lister. I am a practicing Registered Nurse and the founder of Growth Gals. I lead personal development groups and coach women to live their best lives authentically. Growth Gals provides a safe space for women to connect with like-minded individuals, learn, and offer support to one another.
Growth Gals provides safe spaces where women feel free to discuss various topics and everyday issues that are relatable to them. These include mental health, emotional intelligence, finding one’s life’s purpose, personal development, and navigating complex relationships. In this article, I will highlight tips on how to break up with him once and for all.
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Katie Lister
Written by Katie Lister, RN, BScN. An experienced Registered Nurse, Group Facilitator, Life Coach, and Community Leader. Read Katie's Full Author Bio
How You Know That the Relationship Is Over
While some people are lucky enough to meet their soul mates and live happily ever after, the reality differs for most couples. Realizing that the relationship is over can be heartbreaking. Most people remain in the relationship long after making this realization because they are stuck in denial.
Knowing the difference between a functional relationship and one that isn’t is important when it comes to telling whether the relationship is really over.
Signs of a healthy relationship include:
There is mutual respect for one another
While you do not necessarily have to take delight in everything your boyfriend does, mutual respect is a sign of a healthy relationship. This includes respecting and honoring your differences.
There is trust
A healthy relationship is built on trust and mutual understanding. Trust is not just about fidelity. It is also about finances, lifestyles, and the choices you make individually and as a couple.
There is healthy and open communication
In a healthy relationship, people can freely express themselves, air their frustrations, and share their thoughts and ideas without fear of judgment or misunderstanding. With good communication, couples can disagree respectfully and resolve conflict easily.
Commitment
In a healthy relationship, both parties are committed to it. According to a 2020 survey, a healthy relationship is likely to last longer if both parties strongly believe that they are committed for the long haul.
You are kind to one another
Care, kindness, and compassion are strong indicators of a healthy relationship. A healthy couple always remembers to be kind to each other, even during disagreements.
You enjoy being around each other
Wanting to spend as much time as possible with your boyfriend is a good sign of a healthy relationship. Whether sitting and watching a TV show quietly or engaging in activities you enjoy, a healthy couple finds comfort in spending quality time together.
If your relationship lacks some of these elements, its probably a good sign that the relationship is slowly coming to its end.
Here are helpful tips on how to leave your husband.
Mutually supportive
Whatever your life goals, your significant other will want the best for you when you are in a healthy relationship. They will support your endeavors and help you achieve your goals.
These are just some of the common signs of a healthy relationship. If you cannot remember the last time you experienced any of these signs in your relationship, chances are your union’s quality has deteriorated over time.
If you have ever heard the song ‘Break Up with Him‘ by American Country Band Old Dominion or watched the music video on a playlist, you know the best way to part ways in a relationship is to rip off the Band-Aid and avoid stringing the guy along any further.
Signs That It Is Time to Break Up with Him
Some of the most common red flags that it is best to break up that you should not overlook include:
You are often on and off
If you consistently block each other on social media and go separate ways and then get back together, it is time to acknowledge the underlying reason: the relationship has run its course. While this yo-yo behavior was fun in middle school, it is not for adults. You end up wasting a lot of time trying to avoid the inevitable.
It is a one-sided relationship
Your best friends have probably told you but you just don’t see it yet. If your relationship is a one-man band where only one person is putting in the work in the relationship, it may be time to break up with him. If you are always the one making plans in the first place, clearing your schedule to accommodate him, and being there when he needs you but he won’t do the same for you, you should consider leaving the one-sided relationship. This is a huge red flag even for long distance relationships.
You no longer trust them
Constantly having to worry that your partner may be lying or cheating is emotionally and mentally draining. If you cannot trust your boyfriend and find yourself going through his text messages or private stuff, you should consider choosing your well-being and leave. This is especially important if he has a history of lying and cheating, which has bred resentment towards him.
You feel like you have grown apart
Sometimes, there is nothing wrong with the relationship except that you no longer feel connected to them, which most people do. If you suddenly find it difficult to agree on issues, communicate, or even be around each other, chances are you are over the relationship.
You no longer care about putting in the effort
You always used to check in on one another throughout the day, but you suddenly go a whole day without talking. If you would rather spend free time on tiktok or socials than put in the effort in the relationship, it may be because you are ready to move on.
There is abuse involved
Domestic abuse is not just about physical abuse. It is possible for someone to abuse you without ever laying a finger on you. Emotional abuse and manipulation are also forms of abuse that negatively impact your mental wellness. If you are in an abusive relationship, this is often a good indicator that you should leave the relationship.
Learn more about when to call it quits in a relationship here.
You fight more than you don’t
If your relationship has become a war zone muddled with consistent disagreements and fights, this is a sign of communication breakdown. Sometimes, if the issues are too severe to be solved, it is better to consider leaving the relationship.
You think about breaking up all the time
If you can’t shake the feeling that it is time to go your separate ways, maybe that is your intuition telling you it’s time to break up with him. Being with someone you say you love should not feel like a daily struggle.
How to Break Up with Him Once and for All
If you feel that all efforts to save the relationship have been exhausted, here are some practical steps to facilitate the breakup.
Plan ahead
Before you break the news to your soon to be ex-boyfriend, you must plan ahead. This is especially important if you share a living space, investments or bank accounts. Gather all legal documents that prove your contribution to the relationship in case there are legal guidelines you need to sort out post-breakup.
Ensure you have another place to stay a few nights after the breakup. This will give you time to sort out the accommodation issue without staying in the same house as your ex.
Pick the right place to break the news
Breaking up with someone in person is always respectful unless your safety is at risk. Doing it somewhere private is ideal to avoid an embarrassing public scene. Avoid having the conversation in the house, as this may turn ugly.
Keep it honest and clear
Your decision to break up may shock your soon-to-be ex. Therefore, it is important to ensure you remain clear and honest about your intentions and wishes. Do not let them lure you back into the relationship. If your mind is made up, stand your ground and wish them well.
While at it, avoid engaging in a blame game or saying things that will hurt him. Since your mind is made up, engaging in a power struggle about who hurt who the most is pointless.
Expect a reaction
After you deliver the news, you should be ready for any reaction from him. You can come up with different ideas of how to handle the reaction while ensuring your personal safety. Be ready to walk away if he becomes disrespectful, aggressive, or manipulative.
Enforce the no-contact rule
When breaking up, it is easy to want to remain in contact and remain friends, as this ensures you stay in each other’s lives. The best thing you can do after a breakup is to go without contact for a while. This will give you both the time and space needed to heal and move on.
Find a support system
Family members, friends, or a counselor can provide much-needed support and comfort during this delicate time. If you are having a hard time with the breakup, reaching out to a loved one and seeking mental health support can go a long way toward providing you with a safe space to heal.
What should I do if I love my ex? This article has the answers.
How Growth Gals Can Help You Break Up with Him
Deciding to break up with him is not easy. Our aim at Growth Gals is to provide a safe space where women can come together and get the support they need as they navigate different life seasons. We also strive to inspire women to reach their full potential as we create positive change. We support women with the resources to discover their true selves and expand their knowledge base on various issues, such as navigating relationships, including leaving dysfunctional relationships.
Subscribe to the Growth Gals newsletter to access trending news, resources, and helpful guides for women and learn more about how we can support you during this transition.
The Bottom Line
Knowing when or how to break up with your boyfriend is not always easy for most people. It is especially difficult when you have been together for a while and imagine a future together. This article has highlighted the necessary steps to take to break up with him. Following these steps will ensure you have an easier time through the breakup.
