How to Let Go of Anger

January 11, 2024

Are you always angry? Do you want to learn how to let go of anger? Here is everything you need to know.

Hi, I am Katie Lister, a practicing Registered Nurse and the founder of Growth Gals, a supportive network of women. In this article, I will give you all the information you need on how to let go of anger.

Katie Lister

Written by Katie Lister, RN, BScN. An experienced Registered Nurse, Group Facilitator, Life Coach, and Community Leader. Read Katie's Full Author Bio

How To Let Go Of Anger - Introduction

The English dictionary defines anger or rage as “a strong feeling that makes you want to hurt someone or be unpleasant because of something unfair or unkind that has happened.” As human beings, anger is one of our natural emotions. Anger is the body’s instinctive reaction to a perceived threat. It’s understandable when you get angry about an injustice.

However, it all boils down to how you deal with the rage. It becomes a problem when you can’t control your anger and harm yourself or others. Anger management issues may lead to numerous adverse outcomes such as job, relationship, and education loss or imprisonment.

Anger can also affect your physical health. A study revealed that uncontrolled rage is destructive to your mental and physical health, causing bulimia (an eating disorder), diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases. Many external and internal factors can cause anger issues.

Some external factors include anxiety and stress-inducing situations, such as professional, financial, relationship, or family issues. Some internal factors may include alcoholism, depression, and mental instability.

Anger issues are strongly related to feeling insecure about yourself. How insecure are you? Learn more here.

Types Of Rage Issues

You can exhibit rage in various ways and varying intensities.

Inward rage

This is self-directed and can include negative thoughts and self-talk. It can manifest is different ways like punishing yourself by restricting yourself from enjoying things you love, like watching movies or reading novels. In some people, it may manifest in denying themselves basic needs like water or food. Some types of anger include:

Outward rage

It may involve verbal or physical expression of anger toward people or things. This includes cursing, shouting, breaking things, or physically assaulting others. People who display aggressive anger usually have low self-esteem, which makes them angrier.

Passive rage

Passive anger is also called passive-aggressive behavior. This anger involves sarcasm, degrading others, sulking, or silent treatment.

Causes of Anger issues

Grief: Feeling anger is the second stage of grief
Depression: Most times, people suppress their anger, and the symptoms appear as suicidal thoughts, loss of energy, and irritability.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder: This anxiety disorder can cause unwelcome urges that cause anger when unmet.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): This disorder leads to short tempers and angry outbursts.
Alcoholism: Alcohol consumption causes impaired thinking and increases aggression
Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD): Its symptoms are irritability and rage
Bipolar disorder: Causes dramatic mood changes that include anger
Intermittent explosive disorder (IED): People suffering from IED tend to react with angry outbursts

Signs Of Anger Issues

Some level of anger is expected and also healthy, but rage management issues can become dangerous. You may have anger management issues if you have these signs:

Prone to triggers

Addictions and mental health disorders can trigger angry outbursts. For instance, alcohol can trigger rage characterized by verbal outbursts or physical violence.

Physical Reactions

Society has forced us to look at anger as a bad thing. This means many of us struggle to express our anger healthily. Pacing, sarcasm, rubbing head, raised voice, and yearning for substances like drugs or alcohol are examples of physical reactions to anger.

Emotional Reactions

A common reaction to being angry is getting emotionally charged. You may be resentful, sad, irritated, anxious, guilty, and want to flee the situation.

Self-Harm and Isolation

When you do not express anger healthily, it inwardly affects you, which can lead to feelings of suicide and isolation. People living with depression become more vulnerable to these negative feelings and may efficiently act on them.

Substance Abuse

People looking to numb their angry feelings can easily fall into substance abuse and addiction.

Aggression

Angry outbursts result in swearing, shouting, and physical violence.

Physical Symptoms

Physical symptoms may include:

Chest tightness
Stomach-churning
Increased heartbeat and blood pressure
Weak legs
Shallow breathing
Tense muscles
Headaches
Trembling
Sweating
Dizziness

How Anger Affects Your Mental Health

Intense rage over a long period can cause mental health issues such as:

Anxiety

Unresolved and intense rage issues can cause anxiety, which leads to long-term effects. The immediate anxiety effects can include

rapid breathing
headaches
dizziness
nausea
muscle tension
memory and concentration issues

These symptoms make it almost impossible to perform daily tasks, leading to even more frustration. Long-term anxiety also leads to physical health risks like strokes, sleep disorders, and memory loss.

Major Depressive Disorder

The mood disorder, major depressive disorder, is also known as depression. Depression makes you have no interest in life and persistent sadness. Most of us feel sad once in a while. If the sadness is intense, lasts for days or weeks, and makes you feel worthless, hopeless, and helpless, you might be suffering from clinical depression.

Insomnia

Insomnia is not mental health-related but exacerbates any issue you might have. Sleep is essential for your general wellness. Insomnia is experienced by more than a third of people at some point, though only about five percent require treatment.

Causes of short-term insomnia include jet lag, stress, a different sleep environment, stimulating medications, and some medical illnesses. Once the event passes, your regular sleeping habits should resume. Insomnia can be frustrating and contribute to a cycle of wakefulness, leading to more anger and worsening your mental health.

How To Control Angry Outbursts

To manage angry outbursts, and you can practice techniques alone or with assistance, and also consider learning how to process emotions. Some methods include seeking help from family, friends, or professionals.

Think before you speak

When you are angry, you can sometimes say things in the heat of the moment that we later regret. You can control your anger by taking a deep breath and thinking about what to say or do. Talk to the person you disagree with and listen to their point of view to find solutions to problems.

Recognize the signs

If you or a loved one have a history of angry outbursts, recognize the physical signs such as shallow breathing, increased heart rate, etc., and get yourself/them out of the situation before it gets out of hand.

Deep breathing exercises

When you are angry, you breathe in more than you breathe out. To calm down, practice deep breathing. Take a deep breath, exhale for longer, and relax as you do so. These breathing exercises help you calm down, have peace of mind, and think clearly without anger clouding your judgment.

Exercise

Physical exercise helps to reduce stress and release tension. Take a run or a brisk walk when you feel your anger growing. You can also do other physical exercise that you love, such as swimming or hiking.

Forgive

Don’t allow rage and negative emotions like resentment and hurt feelings to replace positive emotions. Let go of resentment, forgive others and stop holding grudges.

Use ‘I’ statements

Blaming and criticizing others only adds tension to a situation. Use “I” statements to talk about the situations. Remember to be specific and respectful. For instance, say, “I am upset that you left without saying goodbye,” instead of, “You always leave without saying goodbye.”

Read Self-help books

Read far and wide about angry outbursts, managing rage, and caring for your well-being. One such book is “Anger Management Tips Mayo Clinic,” by an author only identified as Anna PsyD and available on Amazon.

The book is available as a Kindle edition, and you can buy and read it on any device. You can access the Kindle book, whether you are an American in New York, a Canadian in Ontario, or anywhere in the world.

Get Therapy

Seek the help of a trained therapist who will help you deal with your issues using APA (American Psychological Association)-accredited programs. If you need help finding where to get one, search on social media platforms like LinkedIn for qualified professionals or ask for referrals from friends and family.

Emotional intelligence plays a major role in anger management. Read on about emotional intelligence examples you can adapt to get better at managing your emotions.

Growth Gals Can Help You Let Go Of Anger!

Attention to all the incredible women out there who are looking to improve themselves! Are you searching for a way to discover your true self even as you work on deep set rage issues? Look no further than Growth Gals, a supportive community of like-minded women who can help you overcome living with anger.

Follow @growthgals_ on Instagram to stay updated on our goal-setting journals, coaching, and support groups. Be sure to check out our newsletter for the latest tips and tricks on personal growth. Join us now and start your journey towards letting go of anger!

In Conclusion

Anger is a natural emotion essential to our survival. However, you must control it if it gets out of hand and harms you or others. Intense and unresolved rage leads to physical health issues like strokes, sleep disorders, and memory loss. Anger can also cause mental health issues with long-term effects on your life, like depression and anxiety.