When to Call It Quits in A Relationship - All There Is To Know
How To Get Over Someone | By: Katie Lister
April 11, 2024
How do you know when to call it quits in a relationship? What are the signs that a relationship has run its course? Is It Time to Call Your Relationship Quits? How do you break up with someone you love? This article has all the answers you need.
Hi, my name is Katie Lister. I am a practicing Registered Nurse and the founder of Growth Gals. I lead personal development groups and coach women to live their best lives authentically. Growth Gals provides a safe space for women to connect with like-minded individuals, learn, and offer support to one another.
A big part of my work in these support groups involves creating safe spaces where women feel free to discuss various topics about issues that affect the everyday lives of women; this includes mental health, emotional intelligence, finding your life’s purpose, personal development, and navigating relationships. In this article, I will tell you everything you need to know before you call it quits in a relationship.
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Katie Lister
Written by Katie Lister, RN, BScN. An experienced Registered Nurse, Group Facilitator, Life Coach, and Community Leader. Read Katie's Full Author Bio
Objectivity and Relationships
Different online dictionaries will define objectivity as the ability to look at situations without bias or prejudice. When you are objective, you lack favoritism towards either side of a situation. While this is sometimes possible in real-life situations, it is often difficult for people to remain objective in relationships.
Lack of objectivity can be used to explain why your good friend finds it difficult to walk away from her ‘shitty’ boyfriend to end things. Her being too close to the situation clouds her judgment when it comes to the emotional abuse she may be experiencing. It is difficult to be objective when you are emotionally invested.
When you are in a relationship, it is difficult to look at your boyfriend or partner or even the relationship objectively. This is because, at their core, relationships are a blend of shared emotional intimacy, experiences, and mutual understanding between the people involved. This often clouds one’s judgment about the relationship because one always wants to see the best in it as a reason to remain in it.
This is why it is often easier for others to judge other people’s relationships better than their own. Whenever you need help making an essential decision in your life or relationship, you will often seek the counsel of a close friend, family member or, in some cases, a relationship expert in couples counseling.
Seeking external emotional support ensures you hear and consider relationship advice from people who can assess your relationship objectively, which can often make decision-making easier.
Objective evaluation of a relationship matters because:
You can identify unhealthy patterns: When you objectively assess the relationship, you can spot warning signs in the union, including narcissist traits and even subtle domestic violence signs.
It can promote growth: When you have an objective outlook, you identify avenues or areas where you can grow individually and mutually.
It can improve communication: With objectivity comes better and more honest communication that is not clouded by emotions or feelings.
It can strengthen your connection: When issues are addressed objectively, partners can sometimes build a deeper emotional connection.
I want to break up with my boyfriend but I’m scared I’ll regret it. If this sounds like you, this article can help.
It helps you see the relationship for what it is: Looking at the relationship objectively will help you see it for what it is. Sometimes, this means realizing that the relationship is not working anymore and it’s time to leave. Once you have come to this realization, it is normal to want to look for a clear sign that it is time to call it quits.
So, how do you know when to call it quits in a relationship? What are the signs to look out for objectively to make it easier for you to make this decision?
Here is a comprehensive guide on how to leave your husband.
How to Know When to Call It Quits in A Relationship
Deciding whether to stay and try or leave a relationship is challenging for most people. However, if you have been seriously thinking about or considering it, it can mean that you have reasons to believe that the relationship no longer works.
In relationships, some behaviors are definite signs that one should leave. Some clear signs of when to call it quits in a relationship include:
Infidelity
This is a common deal breaker for most relationships. Finding out your partner has been unfaithful is difficult and heartbreaking. While some couples make it through infidelity, others don’t. In most cases, someone who cheated once will often do it again. If infidelity is something you cannot look past and is causing a lack of intimacy in the relationship, then the best thing you can do for your well-being is break up.
Your needs are not being met
If you consistently have to prioritize your partner’s needs over your own, you should consider leaving. A healthy relationship is one where both individuals’ needs are met and fulfilled. This includes emotional needs, intimacy, and physical needs.
You want different things
While you may have wanted the same things the first time you met, people can change along the way. When people change, their views about issues change, which can sometimes negatively affect the relationship. If, at some point, you realize you now have different values, there is probably a compatibility disconnect, and it may be time to call it quits.
Instability
While the ‘c’est la vie’ attitude is sometimes attractive in a relationship because it encourages spontaneity, it may not always be practical to be in a relationship with someone whose whole life is marked with instability or the unwillingness to do what needs to be done. If your partner cannot seem to hold down a job for long, do what he says he will do or live up to his potential; sometimes, calling it quits may be your best decision. This is especially important if the man you are dating is someone you want to create a future with. The last thing you want to do is create a life with someone you cannot count on when things get tough.
Abuse
While this may seem like a rather obvious relationship red flag, it is not always the case for most people. Being in a relationship with an abusive boyfriend or even husband often leaves the one on the receiving end of the abuse vulnerable and manipulated. Their self-esteem is bruised, and their sense of self-worth is trampled. The best time to leave an abusive relationship is immediately when the signs of abuse begin to crop up. If he did it once, he will probably do it again. Ensure you know about the warning signs of abuse so you can identify them if they occur.
Do you still love the ex and want to get over him? Here is how.
You now detest the things you loved about them
When your love for someone starts to wear off, you suddenly begin to find the very things you once loved about them annoying. Sometimes, it may be as simple as no longer finding their jokes funny or being happier when you are not spending time together. If you feel that love is slowly turning into resentment, it is better to consider calling it quits.
Consistent conflict
You used to be so good at settling disputes and agreeing on issues, but suddenly, all you seem to do is fight endlessly without finding solutions. Now, you find yourself fighting about things you would normally never fight over. If you are feeling unhappy, drained, and unfulfilled in the relationship, this can be a clear sign that the relationship has run its course.
It is especially important to consider quitting if disrespect becomes commonplace in fights. This can manifest in name-calling, criticism, defensiveness, and contempt.
How to Call It Quits in A Relationship
If you are sure that ending the relationship is best for yourself, sometimes taking a direct approach is the best way to do so. You should meet with your partner and have an honest conversation about the current state of your relationship. Saying you are unwilling to try anymore may be hard for them to hear, but it is what you must do for yourself.
The direct approach may not work when one is in an abusive relationship. Therefore, sometimes ‘ghosting‘ the individual may be the best action plan. You can consider leaving a note for him to find out why you had to leave and completely shut down any possibility of communicating with them in the future.
Once you are out of an abusive relationship, you should consider seeking professional help to help you process the relationship and regain your self-confidence.
Once the relationship is over, you can work on healing and moving on. Once you are ready, consider dating again, and hopefully, you will find true love in the new relationship.
How Growth Gals Can Help You When You Want to Call It Quits On Your Relationship
Our aim at Growth Gals is to life-coach and inspire women to reach their full potential. We also strive to create positive change by giving women the resources to discover their true selves and expand their knowledge base on various issues, such as navigating relationships, including knowing when to call it quits in a relationship.
Subscribe to the Growth Gals newsletter to access trending news, resources and helpful guides for women. Learn more about how we can support you if you are considering leaving your relationship.
The Bottom Line
Knowing when to call it quits in a relationship is not always black and white for most people. It is especially difficult if the relationship is healthy and happy for the most part. This article has highlighted common reasons for breakups you should look out for in a dying relationship.
