My Husband Cheated On Me - What You Can Do About It
Is My Boyfriend Cheating | By: Katie Lister
May 04, 2024
My husband cheated on me; what do I do? What are the signs of a cheating husband? Is it possible to forgive my cheating husband? Can I ever trust my cheating husband again? You are in the right place if you have these and related questions.
Hi, my name is Katie Lister. I am a practicing Registered Nurse and the founder of Growth Gals. I lead personal development groups and coach women to live their best lives authentically. Growth Gals provides a safe space for women to connect with like-minded individuals, learn, and offer support to one another.
It is so important that women have safe spaces to discuss various topics related to everyday issues that affect their lives, such as mental health challenges, navigating relationships, and self-improvement. This is what GG is all about. If you have just found out your husband is cheating, you might be wondering what to do about it. This article will tell you everything you need to know.
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Katie Lister
Written by Katie Lister, RN, BScN. An experienced Registered Nurse, Group Facilitator, Life Coach, and Community Leader. Read Katie's Full Author Bio
Signs of A Cheating Husband
When your husband cheats, you may get a gut feeling that tells you something is off. If you have a gut feeling he is cheating but no proof, here are some major signs of a cheater that will help you read into his behavior.
Being overly protective of his phone
A cheating husband is inseparable from his phone and goes into a mini-panic mode when he can’t find it. He will be either busy communicating with his lover or protecting his phone to avoid getting caught.
If he was not a regular phone user and didn’t have a password on his phone, then suddenly, he is constantly texting; that should concern you. If he steps out of the room to pick up calls or places his phone face down when he previously would not, that is probably a red flag. A cheater will often get defensive when you ask whom he is talking to or texting with.
He criticizes you
If your spouse starts complaining that you are not as attractive as before or are not meeting his emotional, sexual, and mental needs, he may have found someone new. A cheating and narcissistic husband may also try to compare you to other women, saying how a particular person is fitter, more attractive, or more successful. He may also suggest that you try and be like the person he is comparing you with.
He keeps disappearing
Your spouse has always been honest about his whereabouts. Suddenly, he starts disappearing for hours without an explanation. He becomes defensive if you inquire about his whereabouts. He may begin staying out late at night without communicating or spending nights away without informing you beforehand. He is unreachable on his phone and has a million excuses that don’t add up. He may lie to you he was with his best friend, only for you to find out he wasn’t.
He starts projecting
The guilty partner may start accusing you of cheating, hiding things, or lying, known as projecting. Projection is a defense mechanism used when an individual feels accused or attacked. When you confront your spouse about his secretive behavior, he might accuse you of doing the same thing you are accusing him of.
I suspect my husband is cheating but I have no proof. Here is how to find out.
Money issues
Signs of potential cheating include increased tension about finances, unexplained credit card charges, and your spouse is no longer interested in planning for major purchases with you. Studies show that in most marriages, financial problems are a significant sign of marital infidelity.
Drastic changes in sex life
It’s normal for the sex frequency in a marriage to fluctuate, which is one of the reasons people cheat. When your spouse starts to show too little or too much interest in sex, it may point to infidelity. Signs of a possible affair include:
- Decreased intimacy
- An almost non-existent sex life
- Introduction of new sexual activities
- Contracting an STD, yet you have been faithful
Social media changes
Most adults have a social media profile and may spend a few hours daily on platforms like Instagram and Facebook. If you suspect he is cheating, pay close attention to your spouse’s social media activity. Watch for any unusual increase in his social media activity. Look for suggestive new comments on his old posts by someone you don’t know or a new coworker. Check if he has other social media accounts. A secret profile could be a red flag as he may be having an emotional affair online.
My Husband Cheated On Me – Possible Steps to Take
Why do men cheat? Infidelity is devastating, and it may or may not lead to divorce. Here are possible steps you should take when your husband cheats.
Get support
Once you confirm your partner is cheating or cheated, seeking therapy and finding a support system is vital. A therapist will provide you with relationship advice and the support you need to confront your spouse.
The therapist will also help you formulate a self-care plan to support your mental health. You can also talk to a trusted family member or best friend. If you are religious, turn to God for comfort and peace of mind.
Is he remorseful?
When one partner cheats, he should feel genuine remorse. If you don’t sense this remorse, especially if it’s not the first time he is cheating, address it to enable you to move on. The bottom line is that, if there is no remorse, you can’t salvage the relationship, and there is a high chance that he will cheat again once this wave passes. Sometimes it is best to consider making him your ex-husband.
Don’t confront his affair partner
If you discover your husband is cheating, remember that the situation is a private matter between you and your spouse. Resist the urge to confront the other woman and instead focus on addressing the issue with your husband. Reacting violently or blaming the other woman won’t resolve the underlying problems in your marriage.
Can You Ever Forgive a Cheating Husband?
Forgiving a cheater and rebuilding trust after infidelity is a complex process for any couple. Cheating changes the dynamics of a relationship and requires time, patience, and commitment to heal. Here are some tips before you decide to forgive him or break up.
Take a break from each other
The range of emotions you experience after a betrayal can be overwhelming. It can be crippling and makes it increasingly difficult to make a decision in the moment. Taking a break and spending time away from your spouse to reflect will help you to process the situation. Whether it involves moving out or taking time away, focus on your mental health to gain clarity.
Consider his position on the matter
If your partner is not willing to make amends after cheating, it may be best to accept the situation and move on. If both of you are committed to working on the relationship, it’s important to reciprocate feelings and rebuild the marriage.
Seek marital counseling
Sometimes, no matter how much you both work on it, you may need help in rebuilding trust. Consider getting marriage counseling, which will help you through the healing process.
Improve your communication
Communication is vital in any healthy relationship. Openly discuss the root cause of any issues. Are your needs being met? Both partners should be willing to practice open communication and address the hard topics to be able to move forward. It is also important to focus on understanding each other’s perspective.
My Husband Cheated On Me – How Cheating Impact a Marriage
Cheating impacts a marriage in various ways, both long-term and short-term. These include:
Loss of trust
The loss of trust in the cheating spouse is the most common long-term effect of cheating. The betrayed partner may find it hard to trust their partner again, even if the cheating partner is remorseful.
Loss of genuine intimacy
You may have intimacy issues with your spouse, both emotionally and physically. It may be challenging to surrender yourself to someone who deeply hurt you, and you may experience sexual dysfunction or self-esteem issues and find yourself unconsciously seeking validation from others.
Marriage breakdown
The marriage breaks down irrevocably if the affected party cannot get past the betrayal and the hurt. Divorce is devastating for all involved, especially the children, and it has a lasting effect on them.
How Growth Gals Can Help You When Your Husband Cheats on You
Our aim at Growth Gals is to inspire women to reach their full potential. We also strive to create positive change by giving women the resources to discover their true selves and expand their knowledge base on various issues, such as emotional intelligence and mental health.
Growth Gals helps women overcome obstacles and make informed decisions. We also help them connect with others with similar values and experiences. Subscribe to the Growth Gals newsletter to access helpful guides and resources for women. Learn more about how we can support you and help you learn more about what to do when your husband cheats on you by signing up below or reaching out to us directly.
My Husband Cheated on Me – Conclusion
When your husband cheats, you can tell from the numerous signs he may exhibit as highlighted in this article. It is important to determine how you would like to handle the situation after the fact. This article highlights possible options whether you wish to end the marriage or work on repairing it.
A husband’s infidelity can devastate a marriage, leading to long and short-term impacts on the marriage. As a woman, having a reliable support system is important when going through this trying time in your marriage.
