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I Want To Break Up With My Boyfriend But I'm Scared I'll Regret It

How To Get Over SomeoneBy: Katie Lister

May 02, 2024

I want to break up with my boyfriend but am scared I’ll regret it. Does this sound like you? Are you worried you will regret leaving your long-term relationship? Do you want tips on how to break up with your boyfriend for good without hurting your self-esteem? Are you nervous you won’t find love again? This article has all the information and tips you need. 

Hi, my name is Katie Lister. I am a Registered Nurse and the founder of Growth Gals. Here at Growth Gals, we provide resources to help improve mental wellbeing, navigate relationships, live intentionally, and create healthy habits. 

If you have been considering leaving your current relationship but are too afraid to take the step, this article will give you all the information you need to master the courage to finally leave your boyfriend. 

Table of Contents

Katie Lister

Katie Lister

Written by Katie Lister, RN, BScN. An experienced Registered Nurse, Group Facilitator, Life Coach, and Community Leader. Read Katie's Full Author Bio

Why Am I Afraid of Breaking Up with My Boyfriend?

This is a common question asked on social media and even Reddit. As a woman, it is normal to feel a certain level of fear whenever you think about breaking up with your boyfriend. This is common even when you know for sure that the relationship is not working and that you need to break up. 

Breaking up with someone you once loved is not fun. It is even worse if the relationship has existed for years such as couples that have been together since high school. The fear of being alone, causing the other person pain, and regretting the choice to break-up makes it hard for most people to pull the Band-Aid off. 

The fact that you still care for your partner can also make it difficult to break up with them. Many factors can contribute to the fear and doubt one experiences whenever one thinks about breaking up. 

Loss aversion: Breaking up with your boyfriend will come with a sense of loss, even when the relationship has long stopped serving you or meeting your core needs. Humans are generally wired to be avoidant of loss, which makes the idea of breaking up feel risky. 

Maintaining the status quo: Most people fear the change that will come with a break-up. This fear of things changing keeps many people in the wrong relationships. 

Anxiety over the unknown: Breaking up will undoubtedly throw you into the deep end of being single again and the possibility of entering a new relationship. This new status can feel scary, especially if you have been in a relationship with your soon to be ex-boyfriend for a long time. Remaining in a relationship that no longer works often feels like the safer option for most people. 

Feeling guilty: Guilt and fear of making the wrong decision keeps many people in unhappy relationships. It is easy to leave a man exhibiting narcissistic red flags or a man who mistreats you or is unkind to you. However, breaking up with someone when there is nothing fundamentally wrong with them can be difficult. You feel guilty about breaking your promise of forever and hurting the only person you love or once loved. 

While all these are valid reasons and feelings, they should not outweigh the reason you want to end things. Leaving a relationship that no longer brings you joy or serves you is a form of self-love. 

Why do I love my ex? Find all the answers here. 

I Want to Break Up With My Boyfriend But Am Scared I’ll Regret It – Signs You Should Break-Up

‘I want to break up with my boyfriend but am scared I’ll regret it.’ If you say these words or think about them often, you are probably still looking for signs and signals to justify the break-up. 

While most people often look for toxic reasons to end relationships, sometimes it is ok to end a healthy relationship. Some of the reasons that may warrant a break-up include:

The relationship is a source of stress 

Different couples create different dynamics for their relationship. So, there is no standard rule for what stress looks like for all relationships. However, if you find yourself more stressed than happy in the relationship, this is often a good reason to leave. 

While there may be some good times in the relationship, living your life stressed only contributes negatively to your well-being and mental health. 

Looking for the best guide on how to leave your husband? This article is for you. 

Disrespected boundaries 

Boundaries are important in everyday life, including relationships. While you may share your life with this person, it is healthy for a couple to have boundaries for one another. If your boyfriend is having a hard time respecting your boundaries, this is a surefire reason to end the relationship. Remember, boundaries can be emotional, mental, or physical. 

You no longer feel safe with them 

If you are suddenly constantly on edge whenever you spend time with them, take it as a sign to end the relationship. 

Hoping he will change 

A woman can remain stuck in a dysfunctional relationship their whole life waiting for their partner to step up and change. If you have been with a man who has not shown a willingness to change even after you gave them time and expressed your desire, it is always better to consider leaving the relationship.

He consistently breaks your trust 

Any relationship coach or relationship expert will tell you that trust is vital in a relationship. There is no point in being with someone if you cannot trust them. Staying in a relationship where trust is broken a lot of times will leave you feeling insecure. If this is where you find yourself, the best choice is often to break up with him. 

You are finding it hard to commit 

If you are struggling to commit to him even though he is fully committed, it is best to end the relationship. This will save the two of you a lot of disagreements and hurt in the long run. Finding it hard to commit is often a sign that you probably do not want to be in the relationship. 

You no longer love him 

Coming to terms with the fact you have fallen out of love with your boyfriend can deal you heartbreak. It is even more complicated when you need to express this to them. Falling out of love can happen. If you no longer love the person, ending things sooner than later is better. 

You are no longer compatible 

People evolve and change as they adapt to the demands of life. While you may have been compatible the first time they met, perhaps things changed, and life took you in different directions, and suddenly, you do not share the same vision, desires, or goals. If compatibility is an issue, even in a good relationship, it is better to consider ending things.

Here is how to know when to call it quits in a relationship

I Want To Break-Up-With My Boyfriend But I'm Scared I'll Regret It-

If you are experiencing one or a few of the issues listed above, the best course of action is often to break up. The process of ending things will probably be painful, but staying in an unfulfilling relationship can be considered to be worse for the two of you. If the issues persist and nothing changes, failing to break up sooner is more often than not postponing the inevitable. 

Dealing with Post-Breakup Regret 

What if I regret breaking up with him? Post-breakup regret happens to most people after a break-up. However, it is not an indication that the decision to break up was wrong, especially if the causes were solid.

Let’s face it: No one enters a relationship hoping it ends. The end of any relationship, whether it was a one-year relationship or a longer one, will trigger a sense of loss and feelings of guilt. The fact that you hurt your best friend, the one you loved the most can make moving on harder. You may often wonder whether you made rash decisions.

It is always important to look back at your reasons for breaking up. This helps you gain clarity of the situation and serves as a reminder that the break-up was necessary. During this time, you can lean on your friends and family members for support as you work to get through the post-breakup period.

How Growth Gals Can Help You Find the Courage to Break-Up 

Our aim at Growth Gals is to life-coach and inspire women to reach their full potential. We also strive to create positive change by giving women the resources to discover their true selves and expand their knowledge base on various issues, such as emotional intelligence, mental health topics, navigating relationships, and personal development.

Growth Gals helps women overcome obstacles and make informed decisions. We also help them connect with other women with similar values and experiences. Subscribe to the Growth Gals newsletter to access helpful resources and guides for women. Learn more about how we can support you by signing up below if you are considering breaking up with your boyfriend but are afraid to do it. 

I Want to Break Up With My Boyfriend But Am Scared I’ll Regret It – The Bottom Line 

Breaking up with someone you love or once loved can be difficult, especially if the relationship was healthy and happy for the most part. However, sometimes, ending the relationship can be the kindest thing you can do for yourself and the other person. 

“I want to break up with my boyfriend but am scared I’ll regret it”. If this sounds like a thought you are currently struggling with, Growth Gals can help you take the next step in your relationship. Sign up below or reach out to us directly.

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