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Cheating Husband - How to Deal With the Situation

Is My Boyfriend Cheating | By: Katie Lister

May 15, 2024

I have a cheating husband; what do I do? What are the signs of a cheating husband? How do I cope with a cheating husband? If you have these and other questions, you have come to the right place.

Hi, my name is Katie Lister. I am a practicing Registered Nurse and the founder of Growth Gals. I lead personal development groups and coach women to live their best lives authentically. Growth Gals is more than just a platform; it’s a supportive community where women can connect with like-minded individuals, learn, and support one another.

It is so important that women have safe spaces to discuss various topics related to everyday issues that affect their lives, such as mental health challenges, navigating relationships, and self-improvement. This is what GG is all about. If you have been especially curious about learning how to deal with a cheating husband, this article will tell you everything you need to know.

Table of Contents

Katie Lister

Katie Lister

Written by Katie Lister, RN, BScN. An experienced Registered Nurse, Group Facilitator, Life Coach, and Community Leader. Read Katie's Full Author Bio

The Psychological Impact of Infidelity

Why do men cheat? Cheating is the ultimate form of betrayal in a committed relationship. It involves engaging in an affair with someone else other than your spouse. Infidelity causes emotional pain for the other partner. The initial feeling after infidelity is betrayal coupled with other psychological effects. Types of cheating include:

  • Sexual
  • Emotional
  • Physical without sex
  • Micro-cheating
  • Cyber cheating
  • Financial cheating

Here are the significant consequences of infidelity in a relationship.

Trust issues

Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and unfaithfulness erodes emotional intimacy. The betrayed partner develops a mistrust for the cheater, no matter how remorseful he is. The lingering suspicion and mistrust permeate into other relationships.  If the relationship ends after the infidelity, the betrayed person cannot trust future romantic partners.

Emotional turmoil

Discovering a partner’s emotional or sexual infidelity causes overwhelming confusion, betrayal, anger, and sadness. These emotions may persist and lead to mental health challenges if not effectively addressed.

Low self-esteem

The impact of infidelity affects your sense of self. You start questioning your self-worth, adequacy, or attractiveness. This self-doubt significantly affects your self-esteem, making you feel worthless and inadequate long after the cheating incident. If the relationship comes to an end, the infidelity affects how you view yourself, complicating your healing process.

Post-traumatic stress Disorder (PTSD)

Cheating often affects people long after the event, causing trauma-like responses. Sometimes, the severity of the psychological impact causes Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). You may get nightmares about the cheating, continually reliving the shock and pain of the betrayal.

You constantly ruminate over the incident and the lack of physical closeness with your partner. As a result, you may become emotionally numb as a defense mechanism.  The hurt also causes you to become over-attentive to your cheating husband’s every move, looking for signs of further infidelity.

Dissatisfaction with the relationship

Infidelity leads to long-term feelings of dissatisfaction. The cheated-on partner feels like their cheating spouse does not meet their physical and emotional needs, leading to frustration and resentment.

Signs of Cheating Husband Guilt

Approximately 68% experience guilt after having an affair, even if they haven’t admitted to it. This guilt may manifest in subtle behavior changes. Men feel guiltier about a sexual affair than an emotional affair, possibly because they value sexual faithfulness more than emotional faithfulness. Here are some signs of cheating:

Do you suspect my husband is cheating but have no proof? Here is what you can do.

Changes in social media engagement

Most adults spend 2-4 hours daily on social media. Pay attention to how your spouse engages with you. Has he stopped interacting with you on your posts? Is he uninterested or disengaged? Changes in interaction could be a sign of cheating. Check for new accounts under their name that could indicate suspicious behavior.

He hides his phone

A cheating partner will suddenly start hiding his cell phone or become overly protective of it. He gets late-night phone calls and becomes guarded and secretive when picking them up. The cheater places his phone face down when you are around, and his phone suddenly has a new password. He mutes notifications so you don’t hear the amount of text messages coming in.

He makes strange financial transactions

Married couples may share a joint bank account. However, it can become an issue when one person withdraws money without their partner’s knowledge. If your partner does this, discuss it with him and ask for an explanation.

 Follow up by requesting the relevant receipts and checking for new purchases. Dishonest withdrawals without proper explanation can be a sign of infidelity, especially if he can’t provide receipts.

He is constantly lying

You’ll notice lies and inconsistencies if your partner is having an affair. He says he is working overtime with a coworker, but then you bump into the coworker at the mall. He becomes defensive and emotional when you ask about it. If he also suddenly stops spending time with you like before, these are some of the red flags to look out for.

He stops confiding in you

In a healthy relationship, a couple talks and confides in each other. When your spouse stops confiding in you and becomes distant, he may be talking to someone else. His body language will show you he is uninterested when you initiate conversations, and he may brush you off.

How to Deal with a Cheating Husband

If you suspect your husband is straying, it’s not necessarily the end of your marriage. While the initial feeling of anger may tempt you to confront your partner in anger, take a deep breath and do the following:

Practice self-love

Your partner’s actions are not your fault; the most important thing is practicing self-care, love, and compassion. Take care of your general well-being by eating right and exercising. See a therapist to help you with your mental health and to cope with the after-effects of his infidelity.

Journal

Infidelity triggers intense emotions, and journaling helps you to make sense of these feelings by defining and dealing with them. Writing is therapeutic; you can use it as an outlet for understanding your inner self and needs. Record the telltale signs of infidelity you observe. Write in detail and give the incident context so you don’t forget when discussing the issue with your spouse.

Don’t blame yourself

People cheat for reasons known to themselves. Focus on your partner’s actions and behavior and stand up for yourself if he tries to turn it on you.

My husband cheated on me, what should I do now? Find the answers in this article. 

Don’t obsess over the other party

When dealing with infidelity, don’t obsess over your husband’s affair partner. It rarely has to do with the other party but with your husband’s dissatisfaction with the marriage. Some information about the affair may bring comfort and closure, but delving into the other person’s life will only cause unnecessary distress.

Don’t try to rationalize

Don’t try to rationalize infidelity. Accept that you’re hurt and focus on moving forward instead of making excuses for your spouse. Focus on healing and moving on.

Keep it private

When dealing with a hurtful situation, avoid sharing your relationship issues with everyone. Confide only in a few trusted family members or friends who can provide helpful support.

If you choose to confide in close friends about the problem, be careful, as their opinions could make things awkward if you decide to stay in the relationship. The friends may also tell you a million things you want to avoid hearing about your spouse.

How to Confront a Cheating Husband

Confronting a cheating spouse is always challenging. You must be careful not to cross the line between asking and accusing, especially with zero evidence. The following are ways to engage a cheater:

Gather evidence

When confronting a cheating husband, gather evidence from a reliable source. Avoid accusations based solely on rumors. It’s essential to fact-check before taking any action.

Find the right place and time to have the discussion

Arrange to have a conversation with your spouse when you are both calm. Present your evidence and tell him your concerns. Let him speak and listen to what he has to say. Why did he cheat? Does he have unmet needs? Is your sex life lacking?

Decide if you will stay

If he admits and is remorseful, you can seek couples counseling. Take a relationship break to determine whether you want to work it out. If you stay, seek professional help to navigate this new phase.

Cheating Husband: How Growth Gals Can Help You

Our aim at Growth Gals is to inspire women to reach their full potential. We also strive to create positive change by giving women the resources to discover their true selves and expand their knowledge base on various issues, such as emotional intelligence and mental health.

Growth Gals helps women overcome obstacles and make informed decisions. We also help them connect with others with similar values and experiences. Subscribe to the Growth Gals newsletter to access helpful guides and resources for women. Learn more about how we can support you and help you learn more about what to do about a cheating husband by signing up below or contacting us directly.

Conclusion

Infidelity has far-reaching consequences for the cheated-on partner, such as trust issues, emotional turmoil, and PTSD.  You can see the signs in his social media engagement style, such as overprotecting his phone, making strange financial decisions, or not confiding in you.

Confide in loved ones, get your facts right, and talk to your spouse calmly and collected. He may deny or express remorse, and you can decide to see a marriage helper to help you work things out. Ultimately, it’s your choice whether to leave or stay.

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